Author(s): Martin Kihn

Humour

I was the nicest guy in the world. The kind of guy who gives up his seat for women who aren't even pregnant. And all it had got me was a dead-end job, a crappy apartment and a dog that treated me as its bitch. So one day I decided to become a totally different man. A rock-hard alpha male who fights to win, makes his own rules and doesn't know the word sorry. An asshole. The worst thing? It worked! Here you'll discover my revolutionary programme for assholism, including: Essential body language - don't smile, unless others are in pain; Workplace etiquette - taking credit for everything, except mistakes; Diet and exercise - the power of red meat, energy drinks and hitting below the belt; Relationships - how to avoid getting burned, even if your wife is a trained chef (like mine); and, Feelings the only luxury you can't afford. This is the story of my journey into jerkhood. It is my story of glory.